Grooming risks in Discord DMs and private servers
Private messages and invite-only servers can be used to isolate a child from trusted adults. Review who is allowed to contact them, and make it safe for them to bring you a conversation that has started to feel wrong.
- Most relevant to:
- Ages 9–12, 13–15, 16–17
- Commonly reported on:
- Discord
- Published:
- Last reviewed:
Start here: Set up Discord Family Center to see who they're messaging.
What is happening
- An adult meets a child through a game or interest community on Discord.
- They invite the child into a private server, then isolate them in DMs.
- Trust is built gradually and the relationship is escalated over time.
Why it matters
Potential impact: A child walled off in a 'special' private server and moved into DMs with an adult presenting as a partner or mentor, with the relationship deliberately escalated over time.
Recommended next step: Priority guidance. A timely conversation, settings check, or safety step is recommended.
What to watch for
- Many servers and DMs with adults you don't know.
- A 'special' private server the child is secretive about.
- An online 'boyfriend/girlfriend' or mentor they've never met in person.
What parents can do
- Set up Discord Family Center to see who they're messaging.
- Set DMs to friends-only and the content filter to its strictest setting.
- Review servers together; keep the off-platform rule; report to Discord and the NCMEC CyberTipline.
Start the conversation
“If anyone online tells you to keep something between the two of you, that's my cue — bring it to me. You will not lose the app for telling me.”
Say it in your own words, before anything has gone wrong. A child who has heard this once already knows where to go the day it matters.
In the news
Independent reporting on this topic from established news organizations. Press play to watch in place; links are re-verified on a schedule, so a clip that is taken down is flagged and removed.
- Priority guidance — A timely conversation, settings check, or safety step is recommended.ABC News
Nevada attorney general sues Discord, alleging it failed to protect children
Sources and evidence
Evidence: Confirmed. Corroborated by two or more independent organizations — safety bodies, regulators, researchers, or established newsrooms. Last reviewed
If this is happening now
- Screenshot the DMs and the server before leaving or deleting anything.
- Report the user to Discord, block them, and set 'Who can message you' to friends only.
- Report to the NCMEC CyberTipline (report.cybertip.org) or your national child-protection line.
- If images were sent, use Take It Down (takeitdown.ncmec.org) to have them removed, and contact local police.
If a child is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. To report online exploitation, use the NCMEC CyberTipline, or Take It Down to get an image removed.
Get the signal without the noise
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